Saturday, August 23, 2008

Who am I, really?

Ross and I watched "The diving bell and the butterfly" last night. It has been on my mental list for months, after my mom and Ross' stepmom both recommended it very highly. Finally it was time.

Wow. The images were so beautiful. The life, so unimaginable. The accomplishment.

I'm trying to remember where this particular quote came from... it might have been a movie or a tv show, or the olympics coverage. Someone was describing a guy and saying that he didn't really know what he wanted or how to get it, and Ross exclaimed, "But that's how we all feel!" There was more; it sounded more profound. Ha ha. It certainly describes me. And sometimes I realize that it's a universal state, more or less. That makes me feel more OK about it. I think it's good to feel... to accept oneself, more or less. I don't usually accept myself; I beat myself up a lot. But I think there are things I should change about myself. I feel like I've grown into a crabbiness (ha ha) that I'd like to shed. I'd like to rediscover a youthful playfulness. It would be easier to rediscover that if I won the lottery and didn't have to sit at a desk all day.
Oh, and now I'm whining!

I'd like to be better at staying in touch with my family.
Family, I'm sorry I haven't been good at that. It is not for lack of caring; it is due to the crabbiness that I need to shed.

1 comment:

Maia LeDoux said...

if you have a crabbiness that you need to shed then I have a crankiness that I need to quonset hut, or airplane hangar. if you really had a problem with complaining all the time I would let you know, I promise, and please do the same for me. I love you.